Devine Intervention

Tell the Truth

"It'd be so tubular if steroids gave me an edge AND fixed the crater-sized indent on my chin."

You've probably heard this one million-zillion times, but...take this to heart.  Seriously, if The Daily Greaser teaches you one thing, outside the fact that Chris and Meert know anything and everything there is to know about sports, let this be it: tell the truth.  

Yes, as simple as that.  

Now you might be wondering, why bring this up on a Sunday afternoon in the middle of April and how in the world could this possibly relate to sports?

Well, I've got the Orioles and Yankees on and just watched a truly remarkable play.  Let me paint the picture for you.

It's the bottom of the first inning from Oriole Park at Camden Yards, Andy Pettitte on the bump for New York...Brian Roberts at the dish for the Orioles.  Roberts hits a Pettitte offering right back to the mound...Pettitte throws to Jason Giambi at first base for the 1-3 putout.

Simple, right?

Wrong.

All three players have something in common.  That's right, each used and abused some form of performance enhancing drugs...but more importantly, each admitted their wrongdoings and continued on with their baseball careers.

Funny how America forgives and forgets, huh?  Americans continually forgive athletes that acknowledge their mistakes.

So I say to all disgraced athletes from Michael Vick to Barry Bonds to Roger Clemens...if you had just told the truth....

Mike: you might not be taking snaps from the man in Cell D that wants to be more than friends.

Barry: you might have received a contract offer from Tampa Bay or Kansas City and the city of San Francisco might not have erased you from memory.

Roger: well, the verdict is still out on you...but if you did lie, I wonder orange jumpsuits have a pinstripe option.

Nonetheless, it's always best to tell the truth.  I'm not saying it cures everything...I mean just look at Andy Pettitte's chin...but if you just come clean, more often than not, you'll be better off.

I Guess Free Throws Do Matter

"No, I don't think free throws will decide this championship game, even if we do shoot -47%."

Press conference after press conference John Calipari was asked about his Memphis Tigers' horrendous free throw shooting, and press conference after press conference Calipari answered with the same basic statement. It went somewhere along the lines of this, "We have the ability to shoot free throws, we just aren't concentrating."

Well coach, I can only assume your players weren't concentrating down the stretch in Monday's National Championship game because they definitely weren't making their free throws. The Tigers made six of their 22 free throw attempts in the game, or 27%. That's on a level with UVa's Ryan Pettinella. It gets worse when the game was on the line in the last 1:15 of regulation. Memphis' three star players, freshman Derrick Rose and junior Chris Douglas-Roberts, and soon to be 25 year old senior Joey Dorsey, made only one out of their five free throw attempts. When the game was on the line, they made 20% of their free throws. That's on a level with Doug Gottlieb.

In no way am I discrediting the Kansas Jayhawks because they played an amazing game, but for all the highflying ability these Memphis Tigers had, and they had a lot of it, the championship game came down to the simple act of free throw shooting.

Before the final on Monday, Calipari was once again asked about his team's, and in particular Douglas-Roberts and Rose, ability to shoot free throws and he responded with, "These kids are tough, and tough minded kids will make their free throws."

I guess they're not so tough minded after all, John.

Decisions, Decisions

Raise your hand if you were really surprised by UNC's Final Four collapse? I'll be completely honest, if I were a betting man, I would have put a few bucks on the Carolina. Roy Williams is an elite coach and the Tar Heels were playing out of their minds through the first four rounds of the tournament.

But then something changed--most notably the state.

That's right, UNC actually had to leave the state of North Carolina to play an NCAA Tournament game.  Fascinating how the moment they traveled more than 90 minutes outside of Chapel Hill they get pounded into the hardwood.  However, did anyone catch a glimpse of an athletic big man taking care of Tyler Hansbrough?

Uh oh, it looks like the cat is out of the bag.  Thank you Darrell Arthur.

The Daily Greaser touched on this subject last week, but we will say it again: Tyler Hansbrough is overrated, plain and simple.

He's a great college player.  Hanbrough plays with incredible intensity and collects his fair share of garbage points--but that's it.  

Does he have a decent outside shot? Perhaps.  Does he have a decent low post game? Maybe.  Does he have an abundance of energy and heart?  You betcha.  But these characteristics don't necessarily make NBA GM's salivate.  We all know passion can only take you so far in life.

Right now, Psycho-T is sitting somewhere in Chapel Hill weighing his NBA options.  Here's my advice: go back to school.  Honestly, of course you'll get drafted.  But here's the catch, you're not big enough to bang down low with the pro's and you're not athletic enough nor do you possess a good enough jump shot to hang with the NBA's power forwards.

Save yourself the embarrassment one more year and head back to Chapel Hill.  You can put on that baby blue jersey, march out for senior night and force up ugly shots against subpar, ACC big men.

After that, you'll have a degree from North Carolina and the opportunity to ride the pine for years to come.  When you get off the bench one night, you can post up on the block, turn into traffic, hear the non-existent whistle and watch as Dwight Howard sends your shot right back down your throat.

But let's wipe away the tears, man up and hit the books for one more year.  Then get dominated in the pro's.

Kevin Love at Practice

The Daily Greaser is well aware that Kansas and Memphis will play for the National Championship tomorrow night.  However, Final Four loss or not, we must give Kevin Love some, well...love.  Seriously...this is plain dirty.  Take a look.

Another Favorite Past-time of a Gator Fan

Don't Blame it on Bartman?

Four-and-a-half years have passed on since the 2003 NLCS and the infamous fly ball that escaped the glove of Moises Alou.  The mishap was blamed on Steve Bartman, the overly zealous Cubs fan who reached up to catch the foul ball.  

Sure, every fan with a functioning brain would have let Alou make a stab at the ball, but let's also remember that Bartman was most likely sucking down copious quantities of over-priced beer that night and had an outrageously goofy set of headphones on.  Couple that with his allegiance to the Cubs, a pure indication that he lacks brain activity, and you can see why Bartman may have "interfered" with the Cubs' left fielder.  (Never mind he and 20 other drunk fans were reaching for the same ball)

You're probably scratching your head and asking, why bring this up now?  

Well on Wednesday, Moises Alou told the Associated Press that he probably wouldn't have made the catch, regardless of Bartman.  

Hold up.  Are you kidding me?  Moises, you wait four-and-a-half years to come clean?  This poor man has been run clear out of the Windy City and his seat at Wrigley is now a tourist attraction.  

Seriously, Moises Alou, you're a turd.  

A huge, colossal turd.  

Considering your huge temper tantrum in left field following the play, most would assume Bartman stole your glove, caught the ball and then bashed your face in with it.  

But no, it turns out that you're just a giant turd, and did what most giant turds do: cry in left field when they get out-muscled by a miniscule fan for a foul ball and then exonerate the scapegoat almost five years after the fact.

Touché, Moses, touché. 

I hope Billy Sianis' goat comes back to life and eats you; then you'll have something to cry about.

What Florida Gators Fans Do In Their Spare Time.

Say it ain't so Tom Crean

Tom Crean is an idiot. There I said it, everything is cleared up now. ESPN and several other news agencies are reporting that Crean has taken the Indiana University job. Now most of you will say, "Oh good for him, I hope he succeeds." Me? I hope he fails, I hope he fails miserably. I hope his stint at Indiana resembles Doug Gottlieb at the free throw line. With that I mean downright ugly and as effective as bowling with cinder blocks. He is leaving a program, Marquette, that he has essentially built up after the program to a level not seen in Milwaukee since legendary coach Al McGuire roamed courtside. Crean took an underachieving Conference USA program and turned it into an annual contender in the Big East. Crean took Marquette to its first Final Four in over 25 years in 2003 and is throwing that away to take the head job at Indiana. 

The talking heads will say its a step up but I don't care what they say, it is a step down. Indiana is an old elephant carcass. It was once a great program but hasn't been a real contender since the 1980's. Even though they proclaim themselves to be the pride of the Hoosier state, they have signed a grand total of one 5 star rated homegrown high school player since Rivals.com started handing out star ratings. If you were wondering who that player is, it's the infamous Eric Gordon, and let's just say that if Kelvin Sampson weren't running up his phone bill, IU would have had the same chance of signing Gordon as I would have at tackling "the runaway beer truck" Owen Schmitt. 

Crean is making a grandiose mistake and as much as The Daily Greaser likes the guy, I won't be able to help myself from giggling like a schoolgirl when Crean is shipped out of the door after finding out what a rotten job Indiana really is.

Former Albemarle Patriot Shines in College

Here at The Daily Greaser, we like to give credit where credit is due.  For instance, if you're an insanely obese individual choking down a cheeseburger that's at least three times the size of a normal human head, we'll gladly display your face below our blog name.  And if you're a former Albemarle Patriot shaking things up in Division I Lacrosse, we'll give you props as well.  

Enter Stephen Murray.  

The 6-4 midfielder entered the Carrier Dome with the rest of his Loyola Greyhound teammates this past Saturday and fought one of the nation's premiere lacrosse programs: the Syracuse Orange.  

In the third quarter, Murray was being pressed by the Orange defense and, while positioned slightly left of the net, ripped a shot into the back of the cage.  SU goalie John Galloway had no chance.  

Murray's second goal of the season sent the small group of Greyhound faithful into a frenzy and brought Loyola within striking distance.  The Orange, however, pulled away and now sits a top the national polls.  

Still, The Daily Greaser gives credit where credit is due, and tonight, we give a shout out to a kid that carried a stick of deodorant and a plastic spoon around with him in high school.  

Here's to you Stevie, you make us proud.

NL Prediction Time

Big time names switched affiliations over the winter and now find themselves floating around the National League. Who you ask? Well if you've been living under the proverbial rock or simply engaged in uncontrollable laughter after hearing a reference to Doug Gottlieb, you might have missed Johan Santana's move to Queens, Dan Haren's venture to the desert, or even Joe Torre's move to LA.  Don't worry though, The Daily Greaser's been keeping tabs on the Hot Stove while you were enjoying college basketball.  So, without further a due, here's a look at what you can expect from the National League in 2008.

National League

East: New York Mets

Tough call this year in the East with both New York in Philadelphia.  Last year we saw the Mets' catastrophic meltdown and watched as the Phillies swept in to snatch up the division crown.  This year, I give the edge back to the Mets.  The off-season acquisition of Johan Santana cannot be overstated--he's the best pitcher in baseball, hands down.  Plus, he's switching to the NL where, let's be honest, they only send up 8 legitimate hitters at a time.  The race will be a tight one, but New York's got a tough pitching staff, especially if Pedro Martinez comes back strong.  Jose Reyes is one of the most exciting players in all of baseball and David Wright is an absolute stud over in the hot corner.  Expect a close race.  Edge: Metropolitans 

Central: Chicago Cubs

Let's face it, the Central last  year was horrid.  I know the race got interesting with the Brewers' hot

start and late Cardinals' run, but nobody likes to watch baseball's version of the NBA playoff chase.  I happen to like my playoff teams well above .500.  Moving on, the Cubs have the edge this season.  Kerry Wood finally seems to be healthy, knock on wood.  But don't really knock on wood, because knowing Wood, in some taboo-ish way, he'll get injured again and The Daily Greaser will get lumped in the same category as Steve Bartman and that stupid goat.  And although he got mauled in his first save opportunity, I'd be willing to bet he's going to be fine this season.  Factor in Carlos Zambrano actually living up to his potential and winning the 20 games he should each season along with Derrick Lee playing the role of lumberjack, I'll go out on a limb and say Chicago will take the Central.

West: Arizona Diamondbacks

The West should be a pretty intriguing division to watch this season.  The Giants finally cut the tie with Barry Bonds and the Diamondbacks added a stud in Dan Haren.  The question is, will the D-backs repeat as division champs in 2008?  The answer: yes.  Brandon Webb followed up his 2006 Cy Young campaign with 18 wins in 2007.  Plus, Webb's a Wildcat.  Yes, 6-2 right-hander hails from Ashland, KY and played his college ball at the University of Kentucky--that ALWAYS gives you an edge.  But the race should be tough.  After all, the Rockies mustered up some postseason magic and made it to the World Series last year and the Padres still sport last year's CY Young winner in Jake Peavy.  The Dodgers could make some noise too with the addition of Andruw Jones in center and Joe Torre on the bench.  Still, Brandon Webb pitched in Lexington--edge: Arizona.

Wild Card: Philadelphia Phillies

The Wild Card will most certainly come out of the East or West once again this season.

I like the Phillies this year.  Ryan Howard is an absolute machine and is good for at least 40 bombs and the consumption of 3 small children.  Add in shortstop Jimmy Rollins who quietly took home an MVP award and Gold Glove, and you've got yourself a contending lineup.  Cole Hamels is a star in the making and Jamie Moyer is well...well, he's old for one...but he'll still get even the youngest of guns off balance with that filthy change up.  Look for Philly to edge out San Diego and Colorado.

Recap

NL East: New York

NL Central: Chicago

NL West: Arizona

Wild Card: Philadelphia

Notes: Sadly, the Nationals do not complete the first undefeated season of all time--I lied; April Fools?

Spring Practice Updates from Around the Country

Florida

Everyone thought the Gators' running back woes would be over as soon as USC transfer Emmanuel Moody stepped on the field. Moody, who ran for 459 yards as a true freshman at USC transferred after the competition got too tough (that's the spirit Emmanuel, run away when the going gets tough). Moody might not have such an easy job winning the running back job after all since he apparently hasn't learned any of the plays. Florida head coach Urban Meyer stated that Moody "is a little bit behind. I didn't think he'd be that far behind because he was here all fall, but it seems like everything is new and it shouldn't be that way." Looks like Gator fans have another year of watching the Tebow machine carry the entire offense on his shoulders.

"What do you mean, block for the quarterback?"

Texas

The main question in Austin this spring is who will replace Jamaal Charles at running back. Charles, who entered the NFL draft after his junior year, was often the sparkplug for the Longhorns offense, such as in the Nebraska game where he ran for 216 yards and three touchdowns in the fourth quarter alone. The Longhorns will look for their starter among Chris Ogbonnaya, Vondrell Mcgee, and, check this one out, 

Foswhitt Whittaker. Whittacker, a sophomore, is quite the character. Foswhitt apparently is a combination of his dad's name, Foster, and his last name. He also owns a dog, two turtles, a ferret and a catfish. I now officially have a new favorite football player.

Notre Dame

The big news out of South Bend this spring is the improved play and the added bulk of the offensive line. Head coach Charlie Weis, who was one game away from slotting himself in at left guard last year, mandated that all lineman bulk up this off season and sophomore tackle Sam Young really took that to heart (I wonder how much of that was in fear of Weis stealing his job/lunch). Young, who struggled to stay above 300 pounds last year has added nearly 40 pounds and weighed in at over 330 pounds. Now, everyone knows that adding 40 pounds in four months is completely natural and no one would ever insinuate that those pure Catholic boys would ever cheat but we thought it was weird when Barry Bonds added 40 pounds over four years and now this guy comes around and does the same thing in four months. Maybe Charlie should show his weight room plans to his old boss Bill Belichick, it would certainly cut down on the Patriots' video equipment budget.

Notre Dame's starting Right Tackle, Sam Young

Mr. Wildcat Passes at Age 81

A sad night at The Daily Greaser as we've learned of the passing of a truly great individual. Bill Keightley died in surgery after sustaining internal injuries when he fell from a bus in Cincinnati, this according to the Lexington Herald-Leader. The 81-year old was attending opening day at the Great American Ballpark and his injuries were not thought to be serious. He passed away with his friends and family by his side later in the evening.

Keightley was the head equipment manager for the University of Kentucky basketball program since 1962. He sat on the sidelines for over 2,600 contests, thus having a front row seat for nearly 57 percent of the games in the illustrious history of Kentucky basketball. In 1997, UK honored Keightley, raising a retired jersey laden with his name into the rafters at Rupp Arena.

Known by most Big Blue fans as "Mr. Wildcat", Keightely will be sorely missed. The Daily Greaser offers our deepest condolences and prayers to the Wildcat Family.

Opening Day and AL Prediction Time

Baseball was back last night (in the states, that is...I'd rather not talk about thglobalizing adventure the BoSox and A's took part in).  That's right, the most glorious sport in all the world returned on the 30th of March.  The venue was a new and magnificent sight,

 and the first pitch...well, let's just say President Bush threw some high cheese that even Richie Sexson wouldn't swing at.  All in all though, the game was refreshing.  Former UVA standout Ryan Zimmerman delivered a walk-off bomb and the once maligned Expos are currently on pace to complete the first undefeated season in the history of Major League Baseball.  And yes, I know there's still 161 games to be played and every team that doesn't lose on opening day starts their campaign that way.   But let's also be realistic...baseball is all about the numbers--and right now, the Nats are sitting high at 1-0.  It's now time for The Daily Greaser's 2008 MLB Predictions.  Today we'll start with the American League.  Tomorrow we'll preview that National League after a day's worth of games...yes, so we can cheat.

American League:

East: Boston Red Sox

Before the start of the season, it seemed inevitable that the defending World Series Champs would wrap up the division.  However, back spasms to Josh Beckett and another injury to senior citizen 

Curt Schilling put a division crown in doubt.  Even so, there's not much competition this year in the East.  I'll admit, I despise the New York Yankees like it's my job, but they can't be serious about Mike Mussina and Andy Pettitte.  If it was 1998 and Tubby Smith was cutting down the nets for the Kentucky Wildcats, I'd say the Yankees had two formidable starters.  Sadly, Tubby is a golden squirrel and the 'Cats had a first round exit from the tourney.  Translation:  The Yankees have a monster line-up, probably second in the league to Detroit.  Still, pitching beats hitting every day of the week, and once the Sox are healthy, look for them to come out on top.  Having Manny and Big Papi also help.

Central: Cleveland Indians

The American League Central looks like a two horse race at this point.  The Tigers sport the best line-up in baseball with the addition of Miguel Cabrera and their rotation is very solid.  However, a shaky bullpen could spell problems down the stretch in the 

Motor City.  Cleveland fields a special club this season and could be popping champagne at season's end.  C.C. Sabathia and Fausto Carmona are a sick 1-2 punch.  The Indians also have a big-time line-up featuring Grady Sizemore and Travis Hafner.  The Indians are pretty solid...sorry, no playing time here for Brady Quinn.

West: Seattle Mariners

Yes, yes...I've selected my favorite team to win the division.  Well, that's just how it goes sometimes, especially when MY TEAM IS GOOD THIS YEAR.  Sorry for the violent font, but seriously, the M's are for real this year.  Last year Seattle won 88 games with virtually zero help from is starting pitching.  Add Erik Bedard the the top of the rotation with Felix

 Hernandez and you've got one of the best 1-2 punches in baseball.  If King Felix lives up to his potential (we all saw his 1-hitter in Boston last year) and Bedard continues to 

be one of the league's premiere lefty's, Seattle could be a real sleeper in the American League.  JJ Putz rivals Boston's Jonathan  Papelbon as the top closer in baseball and the M's have a decent lineup.  The Rangers will be the Rangers this year (that means waste our oxygen) and the A's will make things interesting, but look for another two team race in the West this season ONCE the Angels get healthy.  I've still got the M's in the playoffs.  After all, the edge always goes to the team with the best mascot in the universe. (**Mariner Moose takes a bow**)

Wildcard: Detroit Tigers

This is my chance to yell to the New York Yankees, "NO SOUP FOR YOU!"  It's hard pressed to see the Bronx Bombers not making the post season.  They made the playoffs last year even after such a horrid start, but this is the year.  This is the year that MasterCard can finally air the commercial you know they've been saving for the past 127 years.  Can't you just see it?  "Steinbrenner watching the ALDS from his couch: priceless."  But in all seriousness, the Yankees will have a tough time making the playoffs.  The AL is strong this year and you've got to have pitching **repeat** got to have pitching if you want a ticket to October fun.  Detroit might have some questions in their bullpen, but Verlander, Bonderman and Willis are a safer bet than the aforementioned archaic arms that New York will send to the bump this summer.

Recap:

AL East: Boston

AL Central: Cleveland

AL West: Seattle

AL Wildcard: Detroit

Notes: Yankees complete first winless season in Major League History

Weekend Round Up

With the Elite Eight wrapping up, it is fitting to feature The Daily Greaser's first ever weekend roundup. Here are my thoughts for the weekend.

1. Tyler Hansbrough simply has to be the most over-hyped player in the history of college basketball. There is no doubt he is one of the most talented players in college right now, but if I have to hear Dick Vitale and his "HE'S AWESOME BABY HE IS THE MOST INTENSE PLAYER IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE" spiel one more time I will throw up. Why can't the announcers just acknowledge he is a very talented player, because last time I checked, most guys playing the game are in it to win. I've never seen Memphis' Derrick Rose or Michigan State's Drew "Neitzilla" Neitzel attempt to not win a game.
2. After Davidson's loss to Kansas in the Elite Eight, Stephen Curry announced he will be returning for his junior year. Stephen, are you sure you don't want to declare for the draft?...Because last time I checked the LA Lakers and Chicago Bulls are just DYING to have a 5'11 shooting guard with questionable defense on their roster. Don't get me wrong, Spicy Curry is a sick baller and I love watching him drop 30 on anyone in college, but that's just it, he is doing this in college. Remember JJ Redick? He was scoring 25 a game in college and he was last seen backing up some Eastern European dude who learned to play basketball in a war zone refugee camp.
3. The Daily Greaser is sad to see Bruce Pearl leave the tournament. Don't get me wrong, we strongly dislike the Vols, but Bruce Pearl is great for college basketball. His enthusiasm and honesty are a welcome change compared to the boring stiffs at the helm of other programs. On this morning's Dan Patrick show, Pearl admitted to being out-coached by Slick Rick Pitino in their Elite Eight game and also stated that he had been approached by Indiana about its job. No other coach in the country would be that honest about anything and Pearl is just a breath of fresh air. On a side-note, I don't think Pearl is too sad about exiting the tournament.
4. This last one isn't really from this past weekend but The Daily Greaser loves adding fuel to the Duke haters' fire.

Welcome: A Message from Yours Truly

It looks like you've been fortunate enough to stumble across this magnificent source of sports wealth and, more importantly, "knowledge".  With that, we'd like to welcome you to The Daily Greaser.  As your esteemed cohorts in the sports world, Meert and I will show you the world of sports from our perspective--And yes, nobody says Thomas, and if you so much as think about referring to him as Thomas, our burger-munching friend will eat you.  Cannibalism aside, take a few minutes to peruse the site and feel free to drop us a line.  Although I will offer a slight caveat, be prepared for us to publicly humiliate your ill-informed e-mails and NEVER disrespect the University of Kentucky OR West Virginia University--it could spell trouble/a visit from our burger-munching pal.  This site will offer insight from every sport imaginable.  From America's past time to that mud cycling nonsense in Europe, we've got you covered.  So sit down, relax, grab a cold one and wait patiently--because at any moment, your order might be up...and you may have just gotten your taste of The Daily Greaser.